Lies

(A long, narrow board extends from offstage. A glass of champagne rests on the end of the board. There is a small table with a telephone on it. The phone rings. ERIC enters and picks up the phone.)

ERIC
Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Are you there? All right. Yes, I enjoy challenging theater and art that makes me think. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Really? Is that so? Well, isn't that interesting? Yes. Yes. Mm-hm. Yes. Uh-huh. Yes. All right. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Okay. Yes. Mm-hm. Yes. Oh, yes. Right. Right. Right. Yes. Yes. Excuse me.

(LAURA slowly enters and stands near the glass. ERIC puts his hand over the reciever.)

ERIC
Can I help you?

LAURA
What?

ERIC
Can I help you?

LAURA
Can you help yourself?

ERIC
Yes. What?

(Pause.)

LAURA
This man is a liar!

(Pause.)

LAURA
This man is a liar! He is lying!!!

(Pause.)

ERIC
Are you talking about me?

LAURA
He's not telling you the truth! He'll pretend that he is but he is full of lies!

ERIC
Why would you say such a thing?

LAURA
That's a lie!

ERIC
That was a question.

LAURA
It was a lie.

ERIC
How can a question be a lie?

LAURA
ANOTHER LIE.

ERIC
Another question.

LAURA
Lies.

ERIC
I don't know what to say.

LAURA
You are lying because that is a memorized line that you read from a script and not words signifying an honest sentiment, Eric.

(Pause.)

ERIC
That's true.

LAURA
That was a lie.

(LAURA makes a shooting gesture toward ERIC with her finger.)

ERIC
So was that.

(ERIC returns the gesture.)

LAURA
I'm also lying.

(LAURA drinks the champagne. ERIC picks up the phone.)

ERIC
Hello? I have to go. I'm going to have to call you back.

(He hangs up the phone.)

ERIC
There was no one there.

LAURA
I know.